according to jack 'best person in the world' emerton

I look like a one year old

his niece is one

ok

I've been listening to Dire Straits all evening

It's really really soothing

I've been alternating between that feeling and sobbing at that hilarious boy aforementioned and texting Frani things because wow I have a good phone wow good things

and now I'm eating the best chocolate cake in the world

IT'S SO SOFT OMFG

GOOD EFFORT MUM

You know when I'm always like 'sjkdhflkjds i'm sobbing'

I'm actually just laughing so hard right now

this is the funniest thing of my life

this boy gmh

Today

Yo

Howdy partner

Hru?

Alright ! I have an insane amount of work to do and also I didn't sleep for a solid amount of time last night but whatever

and yourself?

Not too bad, I saw u on the tram on the way home from skool

Oh really

I'm concerned by the fact I don't recognise you

I probably do but

yeah

Yeah, have u seen my pictures?

I have but yeah dkjlfhgd idk

I'd probably recognise you in person

Maybe tomorrow if I see you. I just fell down the stairs of my house, my knee is killing me

Did I tell you that u look alot like my niece

god bless my grandma

she just fixed all my awful german and said that frau may is clearly not a good teacher omfg bless you grandma she is saying so many nice things to me that just melt my heart omg

aw I just hate german so much though it just ruins my life :-)

in other news

wHAT IS WRONG WIHT YOU S;LSRLUGHJDKS;FGSH

holla at ma gurl alo it her day 2day~!!!!!!!

do you know how much coffee i'm drinking

do you even know

hbd 2 alo qurl n dandelion ma boi!!! x

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COFFEE I'VE HAD THIS WHOLE WEEKEND

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO GET ANYTHING DONE

SO MUCH ENEGRY YREJLHGKAFKL YEHAHkjf

Enegry

What

Okay look last night I fell asleep at like 10:30 trying to read The Great Gatsby and my mum must have come into my room and turned off the lights and stuff because I had The Smiths playing really loudly and I fell asleep with the book on my face and wow I have never been so tired in my life BUT NOW I HAVE COFFEE AND WOW FUCK I AM SO GOOD AT MAKING COFFEE I AM TYPING THIS SO FAST I JUST DRANK LIKE MY SECOND CUP OF COFFEE IN FIVE MINUTES AND I COULD RUN A MARATHON OK I'M GOING TO DO ALL MY HOMEWORK NOW BECAUSE I'M LISTENING TO GREEN DAY AND CAPS LOCK AND I'M SO FULL OF ENERGYYYYYYYYYYY

so yeah blink-182

they have this new video and i like screamed because it's so great and THEY'RE SO PERFECT AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL BECAUSE THEY'RE OLD YET STILL PERFECT HOW IS THIS HAPPENING??????

today i liked people

people r nice

i like my friends

look at how good this post is wow LOOK AT ALL MY PUNCTUATION AND FANTASTIC GRAMMAR YEAH

we're going to have pizza for dinner yes omg it's like a tradition now

i need to finish my religion thing oops

i need to finish some sketches for my whole comic book idea thing idk maybe

i'm happy yay things

i'm sobbing

oh my god I don't need to remember why I was the worst person in the world in year seven

jesuhdk chrits kldsfuidfg my godighfdkl caitlin why would you DO THAT

hi disregard previous post I had a bit of a panic attack!!!! which is weird because I'm really prone to those lately

no but yeah all is right with the world again and I am 99% happy except I finished the second season of Skins and just cried the whole last episode oh my god

POTATO BAKE FOR DINNER

YES

LIFE

I have become comfortably numb

This weekend I have been listening to Pink Floyd and Radiohead and the Strokes and enjoying those sort of things I haven't really listened to in long stints in quite a while.

I don't know what really triggered it. But last night I was feeling rather bad, like quite rather bad, and then I was just listening to Famous Last Words at about 4, making myself feel all ~*~inspired~*~ and such, and just drawing things. Because that's what I do when I feel down and stuff. And then I woke up this morning and I felt upset about a few things but then I just spent some time doing mundane things with my mother and then doing nice things like shopping on Lygon St and talking to John's nice friends who are old and bald jkfdslh and well I just felt

uh

content.

I really do not know why but somehow some switch has flicked on in my brain and I feel different but in a good way. Or something. I don't understand what I'm saying either so yeah. But it's just sort of sunk in that, well, I have done some fucking stupid shit in the last couple years, and people have done some fucking stupid shit to me as well, and a lot of the time I wish I could just not have acted a certain way or treated some people in a certain way or just been able to fix things like friendships and relationships or maybe just not lost control of things. But the thing is, I finally fucking accepted the fact I will eventually just get over these things and I will feel better about everything in time. I do really have a lot to be thankful for and I take that for granted majority of the time. And if you're reading this I am probably thankful that you're my buddy. Because you're fab and you've helped me in some way at some point in time, most certainly. So there you go. Long serious blog post that will probably not occur again in a long while. I just thought you ought to know I'm not completely insane.

I forgot how much I like Skins

You know those lovely days where everything is just like lovely n' stuff and it's not like there's one specifically spectacular thing that happens but you just feel sort of

uh

content?

yeah um I feel like that

It's really nice

I had my hair behind my ear before and my mum was a metre away from me and she didn't even see the piercing ha

I have spent my afternoon rewatching the first season of Skins and today with Grace and last night was, like I said previously, very good.

I'm about to go tell my mother about Counter Revolution

how do I make her buy tickets now omfg idk

counter revolution i'm going to cry

last night I saw counter revolution thing on my dash and it was late and I yelled and then I went to sleep

last night was actually so nice

I like Aarish and all the year elevens and people that are nice

Grace and I are in bed ;))))))))))))))

watching skins

eating pascal swirls

yeah

tony is beautiful

miss marwa hates mi :-(

ok look I'm still in a sort of good mood I think maybe idk

except I think I like inhaled a speck of dust the wrong way and it triggered all my cold symptoms again because I feel like shit now ha life is fun!!!

actually I am just really really tired and I was going to draw things tonight but I sort of just want to lie here in a pathetic heap and read fanfic

don't hate me but that's what I'm going to do

opisadhfpsap fjsaocjdsothey ICOMRIOGNDGS

So I was like emotionally unstable for about an hour last night because I’m fucking ridiculous and I like screamed when Anna showed me the link and I was like to mum OH MY GOD ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BANDS FROM SWR IS COMING YES YES OH GOD YES and she was like
Ok lol bitch you’re not going fucking anywhere clean that room
So I went upstairs and listened to panic and like wept odifhgdjklrueoruihogyehu
I like almost had a panic attack HA THE IRONY but yeah when I found out I was like so happy and then I started freaking out and my parenst were like yelling at me for constantly being on the internet and how much I suck at stuff and I was like NO FUCK OFF KJLFDHGUERILFKSDFU so yeah ha fun things
Guess what I had such a good day today
I never have good days
I felt happy all day
I blame Panic
Yay

omg ok i've had 3 slices of toast this morning i feel gr8

also hi disregard my blog last night because I actually have no idea what was wrong with me and I woke up this morning feeling fine fresh fierce ok~!!!!!!!!!

cobra starshit i love u!!!!!!!!!

no really I love cobra starship go away they're perfect

tonight was a mixture of complete utter shit for no obvious reason and just because i'm good at being upset with no valid excuse and partly because it reminded me of certain terrible things I hadn't thought about for almost a year

but there were also nice parts I promise

I'm just really tired yeah I think I was really unpleasant to be around tonight and I was all quiet and grumpy idk I'm feeling ~*~weird~*~ for some reason so I'm sorry for that ~

Ok I have to go watch the rhcp dvd because I promised ryan I would and he'll hurt me if I don't

aw well this week sucked

Because things
No yeah because of those couple days where I thought I was going to explode from misery I have never been so unhappy aw me
That wasn’t fun
Yeah

I am so tired
Look at my blog and how great it is wow I am a perfect human being!!!!!

This week I remembered I suck at everything I do and I am a burden and everything sux lol life :((((((( h8 it!!!!!

I’ll look at photos of William Beckett and Gabe Saporta and read Wuthering Heights and feel good about some things yay okay goodnight

Someone stop me from blogging I suck

patrick stump and buddy holly combined makes me weep

Omfg my brother is talking to my dad on the phone and even though I can only hear half of the conversation it’s so stupid like
‘oh it’s actually Thursday today, dad’
‘so have you moved in yet or’
‘so you still haven’t-‘
‘ok well SOON RIGHT?’

I’m too content with perfect people following me on tumblr and generally content with the internet and reading good fics right now to care so yeah
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
short hair don’t care~

ridiculous

I'm really really sick

I am always really sick

I hate school and school hates me because I miss so many classes :-)

German teacher gonna h8 on mi because I'm legitimately not allowed to go to school tomorrow, according to my mother, and we have a listening test

ha

I've forgotten what it's like to breathe through my nose

I haven't played guitar in over two months and I'm scared to pick it up omg

I think I'll play it tomorrow

may as well do sumthin useful wif ma life :(((

I'm looking at that previous post already and just feeling ashamed

Sometimes I look in the mirror

and wonder why I am so ridiculous

someone tell me

soundwave revolution

Massive faggot post beware!!!!

I am so fucking angry and upset okay look here is my list of reasons to stay alive

- soundwave revolution

- i like some people i guess idk

- seeing mcr live at some point

but like seriously swr was the ONE THING that I was looking forward to

I have nothing to fucking look forward to

I don't give a fuck Panic! At The Disco mean so fucking much to me and you do not need to understand. I was so fucking close to doing the stupidest thing I could've done two nights ago and just ending all this bullshit but you know what I thought a day after? I was like oh ok just think about how happy you'll be when swr arrives. Well.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I honestly don't.

And if they tour while I'm in Queensland

Well

that's it for me

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It may seem ridiculous but that band has gotten me through so much. Yeah. Um. And I was going to see fucking All Time Low and Sum 41 and even see Joe and Andy in The Damned Things and Danzig? If I'd seen Danzig I would've lost my shit. I love the Misfits so much oh my god.

All I know right know is I am so fucking upset and I just lost one more reason to continue putting up with everything in my life

wow I'm going to look back at this post and hate myself this is so awful

fuck

fucking fuck fuck cunts shit fuckahfdcuntsfgdsglrefjksdf

What do I do

sunday nights do not deserve to exist

aw look I just hate so many things I should write a list or something and certainly I'm right at the top of that list because really I am the shittest excuse for a person ever and I am formally apologising for the fact that you all have had to put up with me being annoying all the time specifically in this blog :-) and look my sentences are never ending and unpleasant and long!!!!! sorry I suck xoxo

we can live like jack and sally if we want to

no ok you cannot even begin to understand how much I love blink 182 but that's ok I'll just shut up now

last night was brilliant actually ! maybe it's the fact I don't really do much anymore idk but last night was really funny and I spent so much time laughing at just

things

and yeah I love twister

I would love to write a comprehensible blog post but I'm fucking tired and Frani's dog jumping on me at like 5 this morning didn't help

I feel really sick and I'm going to start my english homework now ok bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!

became as mad as faggots

well that was fun

I thought I was going to die for like an hour

I love having my first almost-panic attack in like half a year because I'm home alone and easily frightened by this fucking house when it's dark and empty and THERE WAS SOMEONE IN MY FUCKING HOUSE I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING

I could like hear the sound of someone going through our draws or something jesus fucking christ

and then I yelled things and I was like LOL GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE and then I called Frani and then I couldn't hear anything anymore

and then my hands shook for ages

well that was my excitement for the weekend ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm not going downstairs until my brother gets home yaaAAAYyyyy fear

tonight is fab

I got home and today fucking sucked because I was busy wallowing in my own stupidity and self pity the whole fucking day ok I'm not going to go into that

But my parents are away the whole weekend

and Max is going out tonight omg STOP THE PRESSES MY BROTHER IS GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS WHAT

and I spent time posting Nickelback and ~*emo*~ things on Anna's tumblr and everyone on tumblr is so funny tonight I am in tears here AND I have pizza and I've been listening to panic all day and everything is GREAT

I have no sensible way to end this

Going to go get ice cream

Bye

this is totally 100% percent true

I just saw Dylan Moran and he is the funniest person in the world

I had tears like rolling down my cheeks

I have never laughed so hard for 2 hours straight dear GOD WHY IS HE SO FUNNY

I am so tired and my throat feels like it should be on a strepsils ad because it's like RAZORBLADES OF PAIN in my throat and yeah

I wish strepsils actually worked

I am going to recover from laughing for 2 hours straight now

goodnight

cescafran

hapi birtday 2 freni shes cool!!!!! :)))))

aw today was nice. I made a cake and drew Frani a picture and I ate lots of food today. And Frani is really really lovely and stuff and yeah I was going to write more but I only got a few hours of sleep due to my rest being disturbed by things so I'm lazy and extremely tired ! But today was pretty spesh. I hate people who say spesh. If you say spesh, just know that I hate you. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is.

I'm trying to think of a new tumblr url and it's so hard because I'm not witty at all. oh well

I'm going to smother a bagel in nutella now. l8r blogga!!! x0

aw you know I really love blink 182

I really just love them so much ok I LOVE THEM YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SO HERE'S A PICTURE AREN'T THEY PERFECT IN EVERY SINGLE WAYI just love them so much and I still don't think you understand ok wateva!!!!!

Anyway okay I actually had a really good day once it got to about last period ! Because I've never ever done well in math and I am so sick of failing at every single aspect of my life and look things are going really well right now idk look
- My drawing style has like ~*~matured~*~ or something I have no idea but I'm proud of everything sort of
- THE TOILET UPSTAIRS WORKS FUCK YES THEY FINALLY FIXED IT
- YES WE HAVE A NEW TOASTER I'M GOING TO CRY
- therapy today was so gr8 ok my therapist let me draw the whole time and she told me weird stories about her boarding school and things yep it was so good oh my god
- And Frau May was so nice to me omg I came into class this morning and I was like JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GERMAN I WANT TO DIE :-) and then she was like AWW BBY U BEEN SICK???? ITS OK FEEL BETA U DNT HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING YET OK :)))))

and I wept

- idk something else good happened idk man I'm happy it's weird ok


BUT THEN A BAD THING HAPPENED AND PAT KIRCH CUT HIS HAIR AND I SCREAMED AND I'M STILL SCREAMING

Look at this blog

This sort of post makes me want to punch myself in the face

People who blog like this all the time. You're ridiculous

I made Frani a cake and am drawing her a picture ! Tomorrow I'll make a post just for her yay everything