I don't know why it has only just sunk it but I actually only just realised that everyone is so used to me complaining about me and my dumb feelings that they just don't pay attention to it anymore
I've even tried to tell my parents just subtly random stupid depressed things and they're like
HA HA YOU'LL LIVE HAVE AN APPLE
Actually this is a really good apple so that makes up for it. But still.
I'm laughing at the above sentence but I shouldn't be oh my god I was trying to write a serious blog fuck

um even my therapist does it now ugh every time I say something negative she's like NOW LOOK AT THAT FROM A POSITIVE ANGLE. DO IT. DON'T QUESTION IT JUST DO IT and it's like what are you doing you're not helping ha ha ha I don't know how to do that

but no oh don't take this the wrong way ! this isn't some sort of ~*sly dig*~ at anyone in particular
I just have a new-found hatred for myself and how much I complain
look I'm complaining about complaining
jesus christ I don't even deserve friends